We’re on day 11 of Emma’s new medication.  And it’s working beautifully!  I think we could go up a bit more in dosage, but I will give it a few more days then call her doctor to see what she says.  She’s on a very low dose, which is how I like it, of course.  But to see the appropriate benefits, I need to make sure she’s on a dosage that’s congruent with her body weight.  Speaking of which, HOLY COW!  The girl is eating like a champ!  This is good for a few reasons. 1) Sometimes it was like pulling teeth to get her to sit with us and eat at the dinner table.  We always give her two options: she can eat at the dinner table with the family, or she can eat on the “spot” (which is our time out).  She knows she’s not in time out, but sometimes she needs to take a break from the stimulation.  Now I’m usually giving her seconds.  And she’s trying new foods, namely new veggies.  Yay!  2) She can become hypoglycemic quickly, so with this new appetite, we don’t really have to worry about that.  Of course, along with this new “hunger” comes some concerns.  I do need to watch what she eats.  I try very hard to make sure there are plenty of healthy snacks lying around.  I don’t stock much junk food anyway, because I’m the one that will eat it.  But now it’s even more important to have a healthy kitchen.  The kids just finished lunch and Emma had 2 turkey dogs, 2 helpings of cantaloupe, 2 glasses of milk, and then she declared she was still hungry and wanted a snack.  I had some carrot sticks cut up and she started munching on those!  This is after a breakfast of 2 scrambled eggs and peanut butter on a bagel thin.  And a mid-morning snack of apple slices.  Holy cow!  I’d be stuffed after all that food.  What do you think, though…did she eat healthfully today (so far)?

Her sleep habits have become much better, too.  She’s going to bed at a reasonable hour and sleeping in until a reasonable hour.  She’s getting about 11-12 hours of sleep.  I can’t complain!

And while she’s still having temper tantrums, the severity has decreased, as well as the length.  We can calm her much more quickly and usually divert her attention.  I couldn’t be happier with her progress!

Thanks for all of your tips and well wishes…I think we found a “keeper”!!

She shoots...

…she scores!

*I will be scattering photos here and there just so you can remind yourself exactly how cute Emma is!

Remember awhile back when I told you about Emma’s displeasure for school? You can read about it here or here.  Well, it continued to go downward.  She was throwing temper tantrums.  She was crying before school every morning that she didn’t want to go school.  It was horrible.  This is the same girl who, in kindergarten, would cry over Christmas break and summer break because she missed school.  This wasn’t a good situation.  From my point of view, I tried to be the “nice” mom.  You know the saying, “Being Nice Gets you Nowhere”?  Typically I don’t practice that.  I think being nice can get you far.  In this situation, though, I was running out of options.

Emma at the Grand Canyon in April (what, you can't tell that's the Grand Canyon in the background?)

I had to be proactive.  I was beginning to feel helpless, and helpless wasn’t a feeling I was going to live with for long.  I told Brett that I wanted to start looking at other schools.  I looked at 4 schools, 2 in district and 2 private.  The first school I visited was a private school.  Brett came with me, as did the kids.  And I asked a friend, who had been in my same situation with her son, to join us.  I didn’t walk away feeling in love with the school, I really liked their philosophy.  I didn’t like the setting so much.  It was a very small school (as in, number of students).  But it would definitely benefit Emma academically.  However, the biggest piece of advice I took away was to hire an advocate.  I hadn’t really thought of this….and I’m not sure why.  Along with the packet for the school, I took away a list of advocates. Three were highlighted.  Of those three I called two and spoke with them.  One advocate had a background in paralegal services.  So her background was more from an attorney’s standpoint.  The second advocate had a background in family and marriage counseling.  After speaking with both of them, I checked out their webpages.  Brett wanted me to go with the “lawyer one”.  I wasn’t so sure that was the best way to go.  After all, my approach with the school has always been more relaxed and not so much “bulldog”, if that makes sense.  In the end, I decided to go with the advocate with the counseling background.

We were getting the ball rolling.  We were going to make changes.  I first met with her on April 26th. And that meeting changed it all.

checking out the view

If you read my posts from yesterday and Friday, you know that we went to the Grand Canyon this past weekend.  We had a great time.  I won’t lie, there were some bumps in the road.  Those bumps were called zoloft and concerta, 2 new medications Emma was starting.  The big debate between Brett and I (actually not a debate, more like a discussion or a decision) was whether to start it before or after our trip.  We didn’t know how our trip to the Grand Canyon would go.  And we also had reservations at El Tovar to end the day.  It was going to be a long day, and the kids would be with us, of course.

We decided to try the medication on Friday.  We decided that it couldn’t hurt.  There was already a good chance her day would be off since there was no school on Thursday.  For the majority of Friday, she was dazed and a bit lethargic.  I learned that is called the seratonin effect.  She was so out of it that she spent the majority of the day in my classroom and then I took her home when I got off of work (talk about the benefit of working at their school!).

Fast forward to Saturday.  She was having mood swings.  Lots of them.  They made me very nervous.  The fear of taking an uncontrollable child to the Grand Canyon (aka the biggest hole in the earth) was very present.  She was to hold an adult’s hand at all times.  I didn’t want her close to the edge at all.  To sum it up, we made 4 stops on this tour that my brother took us on.  Her behavior was erratic during 2 of the 4 stops.  On the way to the last one, we had to bribe her to get some protein in her…cheese and ham slices.  It worked, spiked her blood sugar up, and she was golden.  We were able to watch the sunset in peace and quiet (oh yeah, except for the 4 year old who was whining).  Dinner at El Tovar went great.  No issues with her behavior, no issues with her eating.  She ate like a champ and sat quietly while the rest of us finished.  Not bad for a kid who’s used to eating dinner by 6:00 every night.

Okay, so here’s the big question: How do you enjoy the moment when your thoughts, concerns, anxieties are with your child?  Is it possible to focus on your children while you enjoy the day and the moment?  I don’t feel like I was fully able to savor the sunset at the Grand Canyon because I was a little nervous that my kids might run over the edge.  Just a little.   Have you ever been in a situation like this?  Perhaps you had your kids at a wedding.  Or on a special trip.  The circumstances are numerous.

How would you, or how did you handle it?

Okay, I’m certain we’re past the roughest part and on our way up.  Emma had a wonderful week last week.  Every day was a good day.  Do you know how nice that is to hear?  And at home she’s been improving as well.  The temper tantrums are fewer and less extreme.  She’s recently been able to calm herself down by saying, “Look, Mom, I’m taking a deep breath” followed by said deep breath.  It’s nice to see she’s finding and using her own coping mechanisms.  Of course these deep breaths come after I threaten to cancel whatever (fun) plans we have if she doesn’t ix-nay the aforementioned tantrum.  It’s a cycle. But she’s learning.  The “earning of rewards” is helping.  She’s recognizing actions and consequences. Phew.  I can only hope this continues and that her first grade is a wonderful year.  She’s surrounded by people who truly care about her, and I couldn’t ask for anything more in the world.

How is your child coping with the beginning of the year?

So school isn’t going as smoothly as I had hoped for Emma.  I was hoping for (and somewhat expecting) a smooth transition into first grade.  After all (and much to my surprise), Emma had such an easy time going into full-day Kindergarten after being in a preschool program that was 2 1/2 hours a day, 4 days a week.

I can’t say I blame her.  She has an extremely full schedule at school.  Her therapists include special ed teacher, OT, PT, and vision.  She is pulled out from her regular classroom into the special ed room for 1 hour in the morning and 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon.  She sees OT and PT for 45 minutes a week.  That doesn’t sound like a lot, but it all adds up.  And her vision teacher sees her most days of the week, I think.  On top of that, she has her regular classroom, her specials (art, music, PE, computers) and now Spanish 2 times a week.  And when I think what we could cut back on, really I don’t know what would be of least importance.  They’re all important to me.  Of course some more than others.  But as a whole they do make up her experience at school.  And they’re all necessary.

The last time she had a really rough time adjusting to her new routine was when she went from morning preschool to afternoon preschool.  That baffled me because the only thing that changed was the time of day that she was there.  Her classroom was the same, her teachers and therapists were the same, her friends were the same.  But for whatever reason, she had a really hard time with her new school day.  When that happened, it took her 3 weeks to get used to everything.

And what is happening now?  Massive temper tantrums at home.  Talking back, yelling, and using language we don’t approve of (nothing major, but things like ‘stupid’ and ‘dumb’ and the like).  She’s being defiant and rude.  At school she’s challenging the teachers and her aides.  She’s not always following directions, sometimes talking out of turn, and she’s being difficult.  This all might not sound like a big deal, but it’s just not her.  And when the temper tantrums are seemingly non-stop, it’s grating.  It’s hard to listen to.  For me, it’s like nails down the chalkboard.

So what are we doing?  We are trying to keep a very consistent routine at home for after school and night time.  And we are putting into place a rewards system.  If she behaves well in the morning (i.e. no temper tantrums, and obeying) then she’ll earn a reward.  For example, 3 days a week school will sell ice cream or jamba juice.  And she can earn those treats by obeying us and not throwing fits.  Beyond that, I’m not sure how else to handle it.  I’m hoping this is a phase and that she’ll quickly pass through this as well.  And as we enter the third week of her new routine (4th week of school), I’m hoping this week is the week that ends it.

The “good” news is that I have heard from friends that Emma’s not the only one who is having a hard time adjusting to first grade.  Other first graders are too.  It makes me feel less alone.  And at this point, I’ll take any suggestions or advice!!

I want my sweet girl back!

What would you do?

This was the first time Brett and I went out of town while the kids were in school, and stayed somewhere other than home.  Last year, if I remember correctly, we took an extended weekend away and Brett’s parents stayed at our house and got the kids off to school.  I think that’s how it happened.  Anyway, this weekend was another extended weekend, but the kids stayed at my parents house the whole time.  And I think that made the difference.

It’s not secret that Emma has a slight problem adjusting to change. She’s very much craves and needs routine and consistency.  And while the routine and consistency of the school day stayed the same, it was everything else that changed for those 4 short days.  And it made all the difference.  We have been paying for that change going on 5 days now.  She’s been grumpy, irritable, moody, and just plain not nice.  And it’s not only at home.  She’s been defiant at school, which typically isn’t like her.  I feel bad for her because of course she doesn’t mean this.  I think she’s just confused and that confusion and frustration comes out in the form of temper tantrums (notice ‘tantrums’ is plural!).  It makes me wonder if going on vacation during the school year is worth it.  We have one more trip coming up, sans kids, during school year.  We’ll be in Florida for 5 nights for a friend’s wedding.  And my kids are scheduled to stay with my parents again.  We’re rethinking that strategy, as it is clearly not working for Emma, and in turn, for us.

Fortunately my mom offered to stay here at the house during the school week while we are gone.  I think that will make a WORLD of difference.  Emma will be able to relax in her own environment.  Often times, when she needs to “unwind” she will simply go to her room, crawl in bed, and read books.  To know that she’ll be able to do that while we’re away will ease my mind tremendously.  I know it’s an adjustment for my parents, especially my mom who works outside of the house.  And I’m grateful that she has graciously offered to stay here to help Emma’s adjustment.  During the weekend will be a different story.  I think they’ll spend one night at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  And that will be a nice change for them, and probably a much needed break from my mom.

To end, we are so blessed that we have both sides of the family here to help us.  And they are so supportive of our little family of 4!  Thanks, folks!!

My "typically" happy camper