IEPs (as they might have been viewed by Dr. Seuss)

Do you like these IEPs?

I do not like these IEPs
I do not like them, Geez Louise
We test, we check
We plan, we meet
But nothing ever seems complete

Would you, could you like the form?

I do not like the form I see
Not page 1, not 2, not 3
Another change
A brand new box
I think we all
Have lost our rocks

Could you all meet here or there?

We could not all meet here or there
We cannot all fit anywhere!
Not in a room
Not in the hall
There seems to be no space at all

Would you, could you meet again?

I cannot meet again next week
No lunch, no prep
Please hear me speak
No not at dusk. No not at dawn
At 4 p.m. I should be gone

Could you hear while all speak out?
Would you write the words they spout?

I could not hear, I would not write
This does not need to be a fight
Sign here, date there
Mark this, check that
Beware the student’s ad-vo-cat(e)

You do not like them
So you say
Try again, try again!
And you may

If you will let me be
I will try again
You’ll see

Say!

I almost like these IEPs!
I think I’ll write six thousand three
And I will practice day and night
Until they say
“You’ve got it right!”

Today was Emma’s IEP.  To be quite honest, my anxiety was pretty low!  In part, it had to do with a comment I got from my previous IEP post here.  I was a bit on fire after reading that (and not in a mean, nasty way!).

Long story short, we all went through Emma’s goals, therapist by therapist.  She has been progressing, but not at the rate her goals were written at.  So, many of her goals have remained the same.  Which is fine…she needs to  master these goals before moving on to the next, right?  Well, my biggest concern was her extra para-professional support.  She shares an aide with 2 other students in the class.  Before the meeting, I asked her aide if she’d be interested in moving up with Emma to the 1st grade.  She said she’d love to do that…phew…one less thing to worry about!  The concern with the para is that we had a bit of a struggle “convincing” someone on the team last year that she needed para support.  In the end, she got what she needed.  Maybe it was to shut me up?  So, because of that experience, I was hesitant about the reaction I’d get this time. (And it should be noted that this time the person I needed to convince wasn’t in attendance)  However, upon bringing it up this year, everyone was in complete agreement that Emma needed that continued para support.  And that’s it…that was my biggest fear!  Nothing to fear in the end, but going into it, I didn’t know.

That is why I go into every IEP meeting with a confident mindset.  Whether it’s keeping my phrase, “bow down bitches” in the back of my head, or just continually telling myself that “yes, Emma will get what she needs”, I go in there like a mother bear ready to protect her cub.  You might say it’s a “fighting attitude” but not the bad kind of fighting.  The kind that won’t back down.

So the comment yesterday surprised me at first.  But then upon rereading my own post, I could see how someone might get the wrong idea if they didn’t know me.  I could also see that this person who commented didn’t know anything about the IEP process.  This person, in my assessment, had never had experience with a situation like mine.  And obviously this person didn’t know me personally.  Because I’m not a mean person, nor do I have a negative demeanor.  I do appreciate her honesty and I encourage those people who have differing opinions!  Healthy discussions are just that: healthy.

Any questions?

So, Emma’s IEP is tomorrow.  And like I’ve said, I get really nervous with these things.  And it’s not because I’m afraid she’s not going to get what she needs.  That’s the not the question…because she’ll get it.  My fear is confrontation.  I’m not a confrontational person and I don’t like to be put in that situation.  However, I’ll do what I need to do to get Emma what she needs.  No question about it.  I just may not like doing it.  Am I making sense?  I get it in my brain, but I’m not sure it’s coming out clearly in my typing!  Basically, don’t make me open a can of whoop-ass on you, because I don’t want to do it.  But I will if I need to.

I won’t go into more detail about what it is I think she needs, etc.  However, I was surprised astounded when a copy of her new IEP came home with her yesterday.  In the 3 short years we’ve been doing this, I’ve never received a copy of her IEP before the actual meeting (which, coincidently, is against the law).

Anyway, I promise to divulge details tomorrow once I’m done with the meeting and come back TRIUMPHANT!!!!  Bow down, bitches!!

In other news, take a peek at my beach rat daughter on the beach this past weekend.  I SO wish we lived there!!

My beach babe

I will be posting half-marathon pictures soon!  I downloaded my pictures, finally!

Actually, there’s no real update for the IEP, other than it will take place on Thursday, February 11th.  2 weeks.  I ran into Emma’s special ed teacher and she asked me how I thought Emma was doing.  So I told her my thoughts (something I will share after the IEP is over with), and she basically said, “I don’t think that’s going to work.”  At the time it seemed very blunt and abrasive.  The tone shouldn’t have come out of the mouth of a special education teacher for a kindergartner, that’s for sure.  So I called Emma’s teacher…by the way, she’s also my roommate from college…to tell her about the conversation.  It was after she and I talked that I kind of switched my train of thought regarding Emma’s situation.  I was able to see it from a different angle.  Again, I’ll share with you after this IEP.

After that whole situation went down at school, I was frazzled. Stunned.  A little bewildered.  I had coffee with some good friends and they said everything I needed to hear. While they don’t live in our experience first hand, they’re aways able to say just the right things.  Or to give me different points of view.  Basically, they’re lifesavers.  I’m forever grateful to them for the support and encouragement they give me when I’m not able to provide it myself.  Love you girls…you know who you are!  ;-)

The moral of the story is that everyone needs a good support system.  If you don’t have one, life can be pretty tough (with or without a child with special needs).  That being said, they’re hard to come by.  If you have good friends, let them know how much you appreciate them!

I have now climbed off my sappy soap box.

What are the ways in which your friends encourage you?

…for Emma’s IEP, that is.  It is that time of year where we, as a team, sit down and discuss where Emma’s at, and what her goals should be.  I always stress out around this time because I never know if our goals will match up.  In other words, what I think Emma needs may not be what they think Emma needs.  For example, a few people on the team last year didn’t think Emma would need a full-time aide to help her in the classroom.  I knew her better then that, and I fought for the aide.  In the end, she got the aide (of course), but not without a few battles.  Did she need the aide? Absolutely.  Is she doing awesome with the aide? Absolutely.  (Insert “I Told You So” here)

So I can’t help but wonder what, if any, obstacles will come our way.  I won’t be naive to think that she will get everything she needs without any struggles from the team.  I always go into these with a firm stance on what I believe she needs as a student.  I’m not sure whether the team sees it as a benefit or not, but I think that it’s lucky for me (and Emma) that I used to teach.  I am able to see both sides of the table.  This also means I’m no fool and you won’t be able to pull the wool over my eyes.  I think a lot of parents are like that.  They know me better then that, now.  I am here to fight for what Emma needs, and no one will stand in my way.  Got that?

Phew.

If anyone has gone through the IEP process, it can be grueling, draining, and a battle.  One thing I highly recommend is hiring an advocate.  I have hired a wonderful advocate, Chris. He has been wonderful in supporting Emma’s needs, and ours.  What I like about Chris is that he has quite the education to back up his expertise.  But more than the education, he’s got the experience.  See, he’s got ONH as well.  So his input comes from a place of book smarts, as well as personal experience.  Can’t beat that combo.  He’s been a tremendous help with Emma.  And while he’s in Ohio, we just conference him in on telephone!

We have this IEP in 2 weeks.  I’m nervous…not gonna lie.  I don’t typically like meetings, and I definitely don’t like confrontation (though it’s never really gotten to that point).  I will definitely let you know how it all turns out!

If you’ve been through an IEP, what were your experiences?