I just noticed the other day that I don’t post much about Brett, my hubby. It’s not intentional. After all, this is a blog about raising a child with special needs. Of course I don’t want anyone to think I’m doing this alone. That couldn’t be farther from the truth! In fact, in all of this he is my biggest support, and I am his. However, when it comes to researching, school issues, doctor issues, etc., he defers to me. Not because he’s not interested. But because he knows that I will get all of our questions and concerns answered. And, not to put him down, and not to brag, but I will do it better then him. In the context of “we”, that is my strength. I believe that after you spend a week in the hospital next to your child, who almost died-by the way, it will either make you or break you. And fortunately for us, it made us so much stronger. I know for a fact that we can get through anything that gets in our way. Not saying our path will always be easy.

One of the strengths in our marriage is that we keep no secrets from each other. It makes life so much easier when there is nothing to hide. We are brutally honest with each other. And truth be told, sometimes he’s more brutal. But I think that’s because he’s a guy.

Brett’s a great father. A wonderful husband. And my bestest friend ever.

Just sayin’

This might be a hard lesson to learn for most moms. I think by nature, we’re pretty selfless and will do everything we can for our families before we take care of us. But how are we supposed to take care of everyone else when we’re the ones that need a little TLC? Fortunately, I can say that I’m doing pretty good on this front. I am able to take care of myself by doing things like going to the gym and getting my pedicures. And what makes it easier is having a supportive husband. I realize not everyone has the latter, but it is still important to find ways to be kind to YOU.  (Email me on that one if you need help!! I’m good at finding ways to pamper yourself!)

One thing I remember when Emma was an infant, before she was even diagnosed, was that I never wanted to leave her.  I did, on occasion, but I wasn’t really present in the activity…my mind was always on her.  Then we got the diagnosis.  Can you imagine what that did to our social life?!?  Down the drain!  We still went out on occasion, but for very short periods and we really only left the kids with the grandparents.  I’m not sure when the light switch turned on for me, but I was finally able to get out of the house and take a nice break (dinner, movie, etc.) and enjoy that time away.  Granted, it was after we felt like we had a good grasp on Emma’s condition, and we were able to trust a little more.  We were never without our cellphones close by.  And that was ok.  The point is that we made it out.  You have to do this in order to a) maintain your sanity and b) maintain your marriage.

And I should mention that this advice is for EVERY mom, not just moms of kids with special needs.  I know parents who have “typical” kids who never go out.  I would lose my ever-lovin-mind, I tell ya!!  So find something that sounds good to you…a new book at the bookstore, a hike (we Phoenicians have had beautiful weather!!), a pedicure, a good gossip magazine, and I could go on.  You don’t have to spend a lot (or any) money.  The point is that you’re doing something for you.

What have you done for yourself lately? I have signed up for a new adventure.  It’s not something I want to divulge yet, but I will!!  I want to hear about YOU!! (by the way, I am loving the quotes you guys have sent me!  They are ALL beautiful!  I have lots of thinkin’ to do!)