There have been quite a few moments in the book that have hit a little close to home.  A little too familiar to me.  Even though Jacob is 18 in the book, autistic characteristics are still characteristics at any age.  There’s one passage where Emma (how ironic), Jacob’s mom, describes living life for Jacob:

“I fight for Jacob’s IEPs, and I wrestle him to the ground when he goes ballistic in a public place.  I have carved a life out of doing what needs to be done, because you can rail to the heavens, but in the end, when you’re through, you will still be ankle-deep in the same situation.  I am the one who’s strong, so that Jacob doesn’t have to be.”

Obviously Emma’s situation and my situation aren’t mirror images.  I don’t wrestle my Emma to the ground as I can still manage her on the rare occasion she has a temper tantrum in a public place.  And while I’m super strong for my Emma, I am trying to raise her to be strong as well.  Another point that should be made is that Emma’s a single mom because Jacob’s dad couldn’t handle his diagnosis.  I do thank God that I am not in this alone.  I don’t know how I could raise our children without Brett.  Another passage I really like:

“This is what you can’t explain to a mother who doesn’t have an autistic child: Of course I love my son.  Of course I would never want a life without him.  But that doesn’t mean that I am not exhausted every minute of the day.  That I don’t worry about his future, and my lack of one.  That sometimes, before I can catch myself, I imagine what my life would have been like if Jacob did not have Asperger’s.  That– like Atlas– I think just for once it would be nice to have someone else bear the weight of my family’s world on his shoulder’s, instead of me.”

While reading this book, because it is so detail oriented, I wonder what research Jodi Picoult did to prepare writing this book.  It must have been extensive.  I do recommend it with caution, however, to mother’s of kids with AS.  Jacob is on trial for homicide in the book.  Again, another “what if” or “could this really happen”.  But it’s quite the mystery.  There is another topic this book points out, that I will save for a later post.  Something that Brett and I think about…probably more often then we let on.  Let me know if you have read it or if you decide to read it.

What good books are you reading?

While we were “fall” cleaning last weekend, I went through a huge pile of books by my bed.  See, I read every night before I go to bed.  Nothing in particular, maybe a novel, the latest People magazine, a self-help book…you get the point.  A few years ago, I believe it was when Emma was just starting preschool in her developmental preschool program, my good friend, Marshelle, introduced me to a book.  I think I read it within a few days.  This book is short, easy to read, and is a collection of stories written by parents of children with special needs.  This book did a few things for me.  First and foremost, I realized that I am not alone. Hard to believe, trust me.  Secondly, it helped me realize that things could be worse.  There are days when I don’t agree with that, but it’s true.  I highly recommend this book to anyone who is feeling alone in a battle that they are fighting for their child with special needs.    You can find it here.

What are you reading right now?