Holla!! Things Are Looking Good
Yesterday Emma spent the day at this private school “shadowing”. I was nervous but excited for her. As I told you yesterday, she was very excited to be at a new school to try out. I was tempted to call during the day to check up on her, but I didn’t. When I picked her up at the end of the day, I came a little early in case the director wanted to chat with me. I didn’t see the director, but sat in the office with 2 other parents and the secretary. The secretary told me Emma was just a doll (no surprise there, right?) and that she fit in perfectly. The two parents that were in the office immediately introduced themselves to me and told me their kid’s names. If my mouth hung open it’s because I was a little shocked. I’m not used to such kindness and warmth by parents (strangers) at school! Sorry, I’m not!
I spoke with the teacher, Emma had a great day, and despite being a bit quiet she even met some new friends! I was so happy and so relieved. And this morning I received this email from the director:
Jessica,
Emma had a fabulous day and fit in perfectly. We could really design a scripted education program for her and with our small instructional environment she would really do well here. We would love to have her be a part of our school family. I hope this happens.
I will be as supported as possible with this process. Please keep me posted on all the district details that occur.
Thanks for allowing her to spend the day.
Regards,
Director
Of course this email made me extremely happy! Just knowing we have the support of the school we want her to attend is really so special. It means we found the perfect environment for her.
To switch gears a little (okay, a lot), I wanted to write about something that’s been on my mind a bit. But I’m not sure how to vocalize it, so just bear with me. I think it takes very special people to “be a presence” in the lives of children with special needs. Certainly I feel that God put Brett and I in this position of raising Emma because he knew we could do it. He knew that Emma would be raised in a supportive and loving family. And not just our immediate family, but our extended family. We have wonderful families that absolutely cherish and adore Emma (and Mason, too, of course!).
It takes special doctors to treat Emma. Fortunately we are in the wonderful care of Phoenix Children’s Hospital. Most of Emma’s doctors are there. We even go to L.A. to see her wonderful neuro-opthalmologist. I will fire any doctors who are not performing to my expectations in their care for Emma.
It takes special friends to “hang in there” with us when we’re going through one of our many trials and tribulations. There are simply people in our lives that can’t handle the challenges that we face. It’s weird to say it, especially because they’re our challenges. It’s shocking to me, though, how many friends I’ve lost touch with because (seemingly) they can’t handle our rough patches. I should say “good riddance” and ” they don’t deserve us, anyway”. But again, as it keeps happening, I get stronger. Yes, it keeps happening. I’m 33, folks! Enough with the highschool BS!
And then educators and people in the field of education. I’ve always said it takes angels to be a good special education teacher. I could never do it. Yes, I was a teacher; yes I have a daughter with special needs. But I could never be a special education teacher. I truly believe the people around her cared about her. And I do believe they wanted what was best for her. I honestly do. But I think that their egos got in the way of admitting that they weren’t able to do enough. And that the environment she was in wasn’t the best one.
And then here’s my other (and last, I think) issue. Mixing friends and business. Sketchy. Now, to be clear, I worked with 2 teachers. One was my college roommate. We had so much fun together. I think it worked out really well. We just really get along and get each other. I hope she’d agree with me on that. But it’s interesting how dynamics change with co-workers turned friends. I’m a friendly type of gal. I’d rather work with people I am friendly with than people who are duds. However, now that things have changed and I’ve left on a “bad note”, it’s interesting to me that I’m really not hearing from them anymore. Perhaps they feel like they’re in an awkward position. If that’s the case, I have one question: “how do you think I feel?” It’s just weird to me. And it’s too bad, too. Because I had fun at the school. I really did. That’s why the evaluation came as a shock. And now I don’t hear from my friends so much. <cue song: Things That Make You Go Hmmmm>
I want to know from the parents of kids with special needs. Or anyone who interacts with families with special needs. Is it just me? Or are friendships tricky for you too? Be honest!!
Jessica,
I feel your pain with school and friend issues. My daughter has a rare brain malformation that caused cerebral palsy and seizures. She’s a beautiful, active child with a great personality. It does take special people to interact with her, and I’m so grateful for those. However, I often feel that we’re avoided by our peers who don’t know how to react to her and don’t care for their children to learn about her either. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s their loss. They are missing a great experience by not getting to know her. Sometimes it’s hard to overlook, I’ll admit. Getting involved with other families dealing with special needs has been a tremendous incouragement to us. We feel truly comfortable with them. I find that our closest friends are those who have had special needs touch their lives in some way. It does make you go hmmmm….
You Know, I have been blessed with pretty great friends. We are only a year into it, so who knows what the future holds. But I will say , I can’t handle ANY drama. I don’t hang out with some people because of it. I have enough to deal with it.
Stick close to your advocate and from what I read you have both a good lawsuit for your child bc FAPE has been violated and you should be able to fight in a court of law for the school district to pay for your child to attend private school if they won’t or can’t accommodate your child’s needs. Furthermore, if you have been dismissed from your work bc of this, you too should have a good case against school. Sometimes, as a school employee, we can’t always say or do the things wenthink are best for children bc schools put pressure on us. Sadly, if your a parent willing to fight, you usually get whatbyou want but if not, your childs needs may not always be getting met. So you continue the fight and I am certain this school district with cave ( as advised by they lawyers).. Good luck and if I can help just email me.
Yay for a good day, friendly parents and a welcoming school! Hope all of it works out!
Thank you!
Thanks, Gwen! We’re on the same page!!
Ruth, lucky girl! I have some good friends too. Wouldn’t you know I’m being tested right now. It’s ridiculous. Apparently I don’t have enough on my plate!! How is sweet Davy?
Janet, my thoughts exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself!