IEP is Tomorrow!!
So, Emma’s IEP is tomorrow. And like I’ve said, I get really nervous with these things. And it’s not because I’m afraid she’s not going to get what she needs. That’s the not the question…because she’ll get it. My fear is confrontation. I’m not a confrontational person and I don’t like to be put in that situation. However, I’ll do what I need to do to get Emma what she needs. No question about it. I just may not like doing it. Am I making sense? I get it in my brain, but I’m not sure it’s coming out clearly in my typing! Basically, don’t make me open a can of whoop-ass on you, because I don’t want to do it. But I will if I need to.
I won’t go into more detail about what it is I think she needs, etc. However, I was surprised astounded when a copy of her new IEP came home with her yesterday. In the 3 short years we’ve been doing this, I’ve never received a copy of her IEP before the actual meeting (which, coincidently, is against the law).
Anyway, I promise to divulge details tomorrow once I’m done with the meeting and come back TRIUMPHANT!!!! Bow down, bitches!!
In other news, take a peek at my beach rat daughter on the beach this past weekend. I SO wish we lived there!!
My beach babe
I will be posting half-marathon pictures soon! I downloaded my pictures, finally!
Wow! You must have a really bad relationship with your kid’s school and teachers. Your post is so full of vitriol. I’m all for you being your child’s advocate, but telling her teachers to “bow down bitches” is horrible. Do you really think those people would spend four years getting an education degree, then spend thousands of dollars and more time getting a master’s degree because they don’t want what’s best for children? Perhaps the “team” approach would help your child to get a better education. Play nice!
See above
Janice,
Quite the contrary…I have a great relationship with my daughter’s teachers and therapists…all of them. And, in fact, I was a teacher before having my kids, so I know the time, effort, and commitment that goes into each and every students, especially those with special needs and IEP’s. In no way was I implying the “bow down, bitches” to her teachers, and they know that. That is a frame of mind that I have going into an IEP, because I know what is best for my child in the end. And sometimes there can be quite a fight to get it. It is the frame of mind that I can get things accomplished if I have a confident stance.
Jessica – Congratulations on your attitude going into an IEP – you need to! I have had 16 years of IEP meetings and I can tell you the most important thing I have learned: When you sit at that table, its you on one side and the school, the school district, and all of their lawyers on the other, usually with their checkbooks closed! Teachers do what they can, and usually more, but they do not have the time with the other 30 kids in their class and the districts do not have the money to help our special kids they way they need to be helped. Of course your child’s teacher wants to give all she can to your child! But lets face it, Even when you get your Masters Degree, you are NOT an expert in disabilities and special education. I found myself educating my childs teachers every year about his disability, which is why WE know what is best for them!!
You do what you need to do for your child – Bow Down Bitches….Its a frame of mind –obviously some dont get it — until they walk in our shoes… This is just one of the many hurdles you will go over along the journey to getting your child the help she needs for THE REST OF HER LIFE! You cant go into a meeting like this without feeling like you will conquer…GOOD LUCK – Tape it and let us know how it all goes!!!
Jessica,
I agree, completely…….
Janice,
really? …….I’m speechless.
I mean, really?
Having been on both sides of an IEP (as a teacher and a parent of a child with special needs) I recognize and applaud what you’re saying Jessica. The teachers try hard, but the school corporations are trying to make ends meet. They often stretch the legal limits (or break them), putting off the required meetings etc… I know not all corps do this, but I have seen it often enough to know it isn’t isolated. You are your child’s greatest advocate. Don’t back down from what you know is right.
Unfortunately, Janice, there are plenty of people who have wasted thousands of dollars on their education to become teachers, because most teachers experience a very rude awakening when they have their own classroom. Some teachers can rise to the challenge and become better teachers and better people. Some don’t, but stick around anyway and become apathetic and only do the bare minimum. A very high percentage of young teachers quit withing the first five years because it is such a challenging job. If you want to be good, it’s 24/7, truly.
I think you have missed Jessica’s sense of humor entirely. Way to go Jessica. you are an incredible Mom who is a light and an inspiration to those of us who follow your story. It’s too bad that in this day and age you almost have to enter an IEP meeting with defenses up, because the interests of the child are so not the priority of many. Oh I could go on but won’t!
“Bow down Bitches” is just a joke. Hard to realize if you don’t know the blogger. It is a “mind set” to deal with the fact there might be disagreement at the IEP. You always do what is best for your child as respectfully as possible.
Seriously Jessica, you are one of the kindest people I have ever met. Those of who know you in the flesh and blood realize that phrase is, well let’s just call it “an inside joke”. You are so tender-hearted, but I get that you would fight for your kids if it comes to that, and for someone like you that takes some pumping up cuz it’s not your nature to be brutal. In all aspects of your life I’m sure you get what you want with your intelligience combined with your compassion.
Oh that favorite love-hate relationship we call the M.E.T. or teacher assistance team or I.E.P. team or whatever acronymn is in vogue for the gateway to everything our precious-needs kids ought to have.
That bull-dog mentality can get to exhausting, doesn’t it!
It would be nice to BE NICE AND get our needs met, wouldn’t it!
A friend at church said she told the school that she wasn’t afraid to take a picture of her child’s hive-less, welt-less backside before sending her to school and another pict when the daughter arrived home after being subjected to an un-informed, un-accommodated school diet. This second photo would, of course, be plenty of evidence that something untoward had happened at school. Mom informed them she’d then let CPS investigate the case, allowing the school to invest in defending itself and its policy.
Little wonder my friend’s daughter, and all her similarly “allergic” or food-sensitive classmates, now have appropriate snacks and meals provided for free by legal accommodation for her diagnosed disability.
And the people at the state department of education wonder why parents feel there are barriers in the way of good working relationships with educators?
It is so difficult for me to concieve how intelligent people can claim to be so ignorant about the human condition. School psychologists could lend a little expertise into what happens when you put a vulnerable person in a hostile environment.
Welcome mother bear defending her cub!
I applaud you!
In this business, that adage you catch more bees with honey than vinegar simply isn’t true. Unfortunately.
We’d like to be nice, wouldn’t we.
(I’ve two boys with Asperger’s and Bi-polar, or whatever the new DSM-V classification will be).
I dream of a day when school districts engage truly qualified specialists that write honest reports detailing the best services and accommodations concievable. You know – the kind of an IEP this educated parent would write if she could clone herself and simultaneously parent her special needs child, get a PhD in SpEd, advocate, help earn $ to provide for the co-pays and out-of-network care bills, rustle up some healthy dinner, and smile – all at the same time.
Thanks, Pam!!Best of luck to you and your boys!
Jessica, I totally get the mindset needed. I’m homeschooling a friend’s son, he had an iep…watching her wade through the process of having him tested, having the meeting, then waiting for them to finally put what was agreed to into practice was exhausting- and she is pretty tough, but she had to even hire an advocate to help her. The district was unwilling to give much help, until the advocate got involved.
old story now, he’s not in that school anymore. I feel for you.
you are the mom, and you care the most,
go get ‘em!
Thanks, Jenny! Hats off to you homeschooling your friends son…that’s an incredible job to have!
Jessica, As the Mom, there is no one who has more invested in your daughter than you. You have every right to prepare your mind and spirit for an IEP. People who have not had your experience cannot imagine what it is like to not have the “Experts” really be on the side of your child. The reality is that the cost of programs, paraprofessionals, materials, time, etc. becomes the standard by which decisions are made, UNLESS the parent is there to be THE ADVOCATE. I applaud all of the parents who are advocates 24/7 as you and Brett are for Emma. It is true that many parents are not doing the job they should be doing, whether for a child with special needs or a child without special needs. And no one can do that job for them. Being the Mama Bear is a privilege for life. Moms who have had occasion to experience that empowered role know that it sometimes takes a special mindset to provide for your child. Congratulations on getting what Emma needs at her most recent IEP.
The first IEP meeting I ever went to, I didnt even know what I-E-P stood for. No the school does not hold a parents hand! and if you need to pump yourself up before you go fight for your baby…then get pumped up and tell them bitchs to back off…cause your a mama they don’t want to mess with.